08 May 2014

Kinda the point

I got this note from my daughter this weekend. My first instinct when I saw it was to feel rather terrible that she had occasion to write me a note like this. I don't want to be Hurting Mom. I feel sad that I am. I wanted to throw it away and get rid of any written evidence of parental failure. 

But then the Spirit impressed upon me what a gift I hold here. This represents what I've always hoped our family would be- a safe place to fail. A place to find hope and healing. 

I always thought that process would look prettier than it does. I hoped it would involve gathering the children to my knee, gently smiling wisdom into their expectantly upturned faces. In reality, I'm a mess. The gathering-to-the-knee happens, but not very often. And I'm not sure the kids will remember that scenario at all. 

However, the sort of thing represented by this note- I think they'll remember. There's hurt. But then, by His love, God works in my brokenness (and theirs) to bring us to the process of repentance and forgiveness. He grow us in Grace. Amazing. It's pure Gift. 

I think I'm going to save this note forever as a witness to what we're doing here. We hurt. We forgive. We repent. We love. 

And sometimes we write it down.